Doing My Reasonable Best (And why that’s not failure)

I was sitting in our weekly Zoom for my seminary class, feeling pretty overwhelmed. Our first big paper was looming, and I had no idea if I was even on the right track. The feelings of inadequacy were starting to creep in.

Apparently, I wasn’t alone. A couple of brave women spoke up and shared that they were feeling overwhelmed too.

Then my professor said something that helped all of us more than she could know.

“Your goal in this class is to do your reasonable best.”

Not your all-out, max-capacity, sacrifice-everything best. But, just your reasonable best.

She acknowledged what we were all carrying—the invisible weight of being women who show up in a lot of places for a lot of people.

And instead of adding pressure… she removed it.

But if I’m being honest?

Part of me immediately wondered… Is doing my reasonable best just another way of saying I’m falling short?

Because there’s a quiet pressure most women carry and it constantly whispers a lie that we need to be better. 

So as I sat with this, I realized something very important, this isn’t permission to become complacent, but instead to become intentional. To take a step back and ask: What actually matters most in this season?

And then to give your energy there… while releasing the pressure everywhere else.

God has created women with an incredible capacity—to carry emotion, to show compassion, to care deeply for the people in our lives. But we have to be careful not to carry things God never asked us to carry.

So why do we hold ourselves to a standard He never asked us to meet?

Some seasons are certainly heavier than others, and they require more of us in one area than another.

I don’t know that we’re ever fully “balanced.”
I think we’re constantly adjusting—giving more where it’s needed most at the moment.

Right now, I’m in a season of trying to hold it together as my youngest is about to graduate. Thankfully, there are a million tasks keeping my mind occupied—college decisions, checklists, all the things that come before graduation.

But I’m fairly certain the ugly cry is coming any day now.

And I also know this—

This season is temporary. Soon he’ll be off at college. So right now, I want to cherish every moment I have.

What does it actually look like to do your “reasonable best”… and not feel like you’re failing?

It starts with getting clear on your priorities.

Not ten things, just a few.

I would even challenge you—no more than five.

And then be intentional with those things first.

Everything else?

Do your best… and release the pressure of perfection.

Here’s what that looks like for me right now:

1. God; my daily bible reading and prayer time are non-negotiable

2. Family; I always have time for my family, they are my priority!

3. My health; this is also non-negotiable. Sometimes health is a journey, but I can’t be there for those I love if I don’t take care of myself so this stays at the top.

4. Community; God created us for community so I believe making time for friendships, church, and our community is important for my mental well being. Plus, I just love my people!

5. Seminary

6. (Everything else)

And notice—seminary isn’t at the top during this season. 

It matters to me a lot. I’m grateful for it. I’m learning so much! But I’m also realistic about this season. So, I may not be doing A+ work on every assignment right now. And that’s okay.

Because here’s what I am doing—

I’m keeping God a priority in my life.

I’m doing my best to teach and model for my kids what a life with God looks like.

I’m making time for my family—
evening walks with my husband,
late-night conversations with my kids,
showing up for Luke’s final band events etc.… (You get the point)

And yes, I’m still showing up for my own school—learning, growing, doing the work.

But I’m not putting pressure on myself to do it perfectly in this season.

Because I know this—

In the fall, when Luke is off at college, things may shift.

But for now, my reasonable best means pouring into what matters most.

And trusting that is enough.

So let me ask you. What matters most in your life right now?

Are you spending time and energy on things that aren’t actually priorities?

Maybe… Is there a shift you need to make?

My dad used to say,
“In 100 years, none of this will matter.”

He said that in regards to trivial things. What he was really saying was, What will matter in 100 years?

Your faith.
Your family.
The people you loved.
The lives you impacted.

Are you investing your time and energy into those things?

Doing your reasonable best isn’t about settling.

It’s about living on purpose in the season you’re in.

You are not failing.

But you do need to be intentional.